Boff's Rok

From Cetus
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Boffs rok.png
Sector map link.png

IOL-762 is a system in the rimward quarter of the Iolan Reaches. It is unexplored by the Imperium, and is simply one of thousands of stars in the area that have yet to be visited.

It is not, however, unknown to the orks. They call it Boff’s Rok.

It has one habitable world, which has a vast population of greenskins. Petty warlords vie with each other to try and lead a great Waaaagh! into the wider region, but to do so, they must earn the trust of Boff da Great, a prolific and uncommonly gifted mekaniak. Everyone knows that messing with Boff is risky bizniz. His undermeks build all sorts of things, from kunnin’ devices to spaceships. The biggest and most eccentric inventions, however, are the signature work of Boff himself.

Da Orerrerrurrrerry

This outlandish facility is the home of the ‘Orakork,’ one of the biggest buildings in Mek City. It is very much a brainchild of Boff da Great, and is a holy site to many local greenskins as a place where the fate of whole worlds might be decided. On the outside, it is a brain-melting hodge podge of radio telescopes and other surprisingly sophisticated astronomic tools, all of which are wired into something called a ‘bonce condenser,’ which is then hardwired into the back of the Orakork’s skull with predictably drool-inducing results.

The Orakork’s chamber is the room that gives the Orerrerrurrrerry its name, for it features an almost childish and extremely incomplete three dimensional mock-up of local constellations, with each star represented by a labelled bauble or similar token suspended on a string from the domed ceiling. Within this chamber, the Orakork capers about, feeling out what might be found at each star. Naturally this capering frequently tangles the wires attached to his head, and must be hurriedly disentangled by grot orderlies (all of whom wear hats with a picture of a star with a big red line through it so the Orarork didn't get confused). After finding a good spot, he says what he sees in that system, and it is hastily scribbled down on a chit and hooked on the star's bauble. A library of sorts now exists to which a warboss with Da Boff’s favour can refer when he wants to pick a raiding target that fits his needs.

Once a warboss has chosen a destination system, the final, brilliant part of da Boff’s design comes into play: the warboss’ weirdboy/captured oomie navigator/designated navigatork is brought to the Orerrerrurrrerry and is immediately headbutted by the Orakork, thus making them see stars. As the stars fade away, one remains: the destination, burned into his mind until he reaches it, like a squig drawn to a headlight. Once the weirdboy finally reaches the star system in question, he reverts to normal (relatively speaking).

Of course, the process is not without its pitfalls. Sometimes the Orakork’s headbutt damages the “volunteer” in some subtle way that only becomes apparent after a ship subsequently flies straight into the target star. Or after they start screaming about “da big black rimward shadow.” Or after they develop a bit of a grog addiction and talking about how really, really big space is.

It also seems that the Orakork might in fact just be a title, and that the device burns through weirdboys at quite a clip, and that the Boff sends out raiding parties to steal smaller tribes’ shamans. No one complains that much, though, because an interstellar krumpin’ spree finda is widely agreed to be useful and good.